30 Lessons About Relationships

While David Artavia speaks primarily to gay men in his article “30 Things I’ve Learned about Gay Relationships While Being Single,” most of them apply to all relationships. It’s a though-provoking list of some big lessons about connecting, love and… Read More

Your Cynicism Is Defeating You

A quick post on Psychology Today recently gives a brief look at new research on cynicism and potential links to dementia. Cynicism is a distrust in the intentions of others or a belief that others are motivated by… Read More

Build Contentment to find Success, not vice versa.

One of the most common recurring themes in my work with clients is the pursuit of enduring contentment: How can they build on experiences of joy and happiness, fulfillment and contentment, once they’ve emerged from distress? This TED… Read More

Gays, put down the drink and connect!

Please read this important op-ed by Tyler Curry in The Advocate that explores why binge drinking is so acceptable among gay men. Curry turns personal and stays kinda surface; I’ve found with my clients that there are often deeper psychosocial… Read More

Show Kindness to Raise Kindness

In order to raise children who are kind and compassionate, we must show them kindness and compassion. Much like children must see us regulating our emotions (e.g. to stay calm when we’re frustrated) to learn to do it,… Read More

Fewer Activities, More Successful Kids?

  New research seems to indicate (through correlation, not causation) that fewer structured activities may be better for children. Fewer classes, teams, practices and groups may lead to children with higher functioning and more success. More opportunity for… Read More

Who do you recognize in this video?

John Legend’s new video for You & I is out.   It’s a moving look at the inherent beauty of the female experience, even through struggle & adversity: it captures growth, resilience, grief, perseverance, pride, loss and power. You… Read More

Building the Relationship You Want

Dr. Sue Johnson wrote a succinct and powerful piece describing strategies to build the relationship you want with your partner. In it, she reminds the reader of some pretty macro ideas like strong relationships take work and intention. They… Read More

Pressure Boosts Creativity? Perhaps for the Neurotic Among Us

New research out of Singapore & Taiwan seems to indicate worry can bolster creativity. Neurotic people seem to display “greater flexibility in generating ideas” after worrisome thoughts, such as deadlines or disapproval from supervisors. You can read more here:… Read More

I understand… I feel… I want…

Sometimes clients fall into their old communication habits of talking over each other, listening for points to argue against, and start out with negatives and on the defensive. Happens to all of us. I invite them to step… Read More