“Resolution, Not Conflict” is the blog of my mentor and colleague, Susan Heitler.
You can find it here.
Here’s a quick sample of an interesting post she’s recently added:
“4. Enjoyment Any kind of shared fun builds a sense of closeness. Folks that laugh together like being together.
5. Newness and fright Slightly anxiety-producing activities and any activities that have newness like going to a different restaurant or travel have an especially strong bonding impact.”
These are two of my favorite on her list of how build closeness with others.
To enact these two strategies in my life, I take friends and family to fun places around town. I love the Museum of Contemporary Art‘s Mixed Taste programs – my colleagues will vouch for me on that!
I also enjoy walking down to the Denver Art Museum. Whether they have a special traveling exhibit or I’m there to discover something new, it’s a great way to learn and grow together with a friend, asking what did you like, how did you feel about that piece?
Probably my favorite place to explore with people is the Denver Botanic Gardens. It’s not the biggest garden for sure; at the same time, taking someone who hasn’t been or with whom I haven’t been gives me a new lens, a new perspective, and I get to learn what are there favorite plants and why? Are they a green-thumb, or like me, not so much? How do they feel about the new sculpture exhibit? What’s their experience like in the herb garden!?
What Heitler calls newness is also called novelty. When we can bring novel experiences into our lives, it’s revivifying, gives us the chance to see the experience through someone else’s eyes, and puts us on fresh, even territory to explore and learn together, with each other.