Dr. Sue Johnson wrote a succinct and powerful piece describing strategies to build the relationship you want with your partner. In it, she reminds the reader of some pretty macro ideas like strong relationships take work and intention. They don’t just happen. Love doesn’t just happen, it is cultivated through partnership, empathy, connection, and vulnerability. It happens through small, daily acts like building rituals into otherwise mundane moments to imbue them with meaning and connection. It happens through deeper moments like making known your needs for assurance and validation, and viewing conflicts from the outside, as an observer, to get distance from the negative cycle.
With my clients, I help them stay centered and present as they learn to dig deep and discover the true messages they need to convey (e.g. “when you leave in a huff I get scared you’re not coming back”). I help them express these deep concerns, get the reassurance they need to handle that fear courageously in partnership and stay connected to their partner.
If you would like help working these ways to create the relationship you want into your life, give me a call. I’m here to support you in that challenging and profoundly rewarding work. 720-468-0676 or matthew@lebauercounseling.com