Does Couples Therapy Work?

A nice, short piece from the NYT about what contributes to the successes and the complexities of couples counseling. And the challenges it poses to therapists attempting to do it well. Does Couples Therapy Work? “WE’VE all had… Read More


Dr. Heitler’s “EFFECTIVE APOLOGIES: A QUICK GUIDE TO THE KEY INGREDIENTS” Check it out and see her worksheet at this link.


“All too often, hurtful words slip inadvertently from our mouths.  Sometimes we genuinely meant no harm.  At other times it’s worth checking in with our quiet voices.  Did we in fact mean to poke or jab?  And if… Read More

One of my father’s mentors, Dr. Eugene Stead, Jr.

“Patients come to doctors with complex problems. Have peace with them. Identify with the patient and not with his disease.” Dr. Eugene Stead, Jr. Dr. Stead had a profound effect on my father. My father works to ensure… Read More

Collaboration with Susan Heitler

It’s always a pleasure to work with my therapy colleague Susan Heitler. Through our impromptu conversations between clients, we learn with each other and explore the complexity and nuance of our work. In her blog post today, Susan… Read More

You are my partner. You are not my adversary.

The number one predictor for divorce is avoidance of conflict; couples are served much better by doing the difficult work, helping each other trudge through the tension and animosity of their unavoidable conflicts. This tough work becomes an… Read More

Seeds of Truth Sprout Gardens of Growth

Many of our arguments and disagreements erupt at the precise but indistinguishable moment when defensive posturing takes hold. I’ve written about it in the past, but the importance of that moment can’t be underestimated. In that moment, we… Read More

Speak about yourself, Ask about your partner, Reap the benefits.

The most frequent sign of poor communication habits I hear is something like, “My wife wants us to talk about…” Or, “I feel that my husband ignores me…” The first phrase is a comment about the partner, using… Read More

Fall’s Here: Leave the Stew in the bowl and the Love in the Air.

Fall has arrived, my favorite season: hearty stews, wool sweaters and cuddling weather. I’ve noticed recently that many couples struggle to enjoy the changing season because they’re stuck in their old patterns with their partners. They work to… Read More

From NPR: Experiencing Teen Drama Overload?

Here’s an interesting piece I heard on NPR Monday morning. I’d love to get your insights – have these strategies worked for you? Experiencing Teen Drama Overload? And here’s the book they reference: Getting To Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies… Read More