“All too often, hurtful words slip inadvertently from our mouths. Sometimes we genuinely meant no harm. At other times it’s worth checking in with our quiet voices. Did we in fact mean to poke or jab? And if so, why? Freud wrote about jokes, saying that they really do tend to rest on subconscious truths. […]
Dr. Heitler’s “THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR SPO– USE?” Read More »
In Thandie Newton’s recent Ted Talk, she discusses her experience of Otherness and her exploration of Self. She comments on her rejected, unruly, dysfunctional Self and ways in which her pursuit of Awareness and Oneness helps her control her Self and find fulfillment. Some of the ideas she discusses I find provocative and some informative, some
Embracing Otherness, Managing Our Selves Read More »
CHECK OUT THIS GREAT ARTICLE OF PERSPECTIVES AND TRUTHS LEARNED BY COUPLES THERAPISTS OVER THE YEARS 15 Lessons I’ve Learned About Relationships from PsychCentral By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.
Couples Therapists Reveal: 15 Lessons I’ve Learned About Relationships Read More »
One of the more difficult challenges I face with couples is forgiveness and re-shaping: how can I forgive the years of hurt and resentment? How can I re-shape the way I see my partner and his/her role in my life? It is very easy for us to experience the hurt and invest in the anger;
Forgiveness and Re-Shaping Read More »
It’s always a pleasure to work with my therapy colleague Susan Heitler. Through our impromptu conversations between clients, we learn with each other and explore the complexity and nuance of our work. In her blog post today, Susan illustrates a thread of several of our conversations about the levels of treatment in a Conflict Resolution
Collaboration with Susan Heitler Read More »
The NY Times recently published a clear, informative article on the disparities and challenges faced by same-sex couples pursuing the same financial and legal safeguards afforded to heterosexual couples by marriage. The article both illuminates the complexity of the challenges and gives clear tips on the process of creating a legal document semi-equivalent jigsaw, at significantly higher
NYTimes Money Issue Addresses Financial & Legal Issues for Same-sex Couples Read More »
The Modern Love column from the New York Times gives another insightful, challenging piece by Wendy Plump; this one explores the two agonizing sides of infidelity. “Start, I suggested to her, by picturing yourself in the therapist’s office with your betrayed husband after you’ve been found out (and you will be found out). You will hear
Two Sides to Infidelity, “And both, frankly, are awful.” Read More »
StoryCorps is regularly one of my favorite radio segments to listen to. I always feel like it’s just the teaser, wishing they could just play the full recording. They regularly move me; and this one really jumped out. What do you think? Share your thoughts with me. http://storycorps.org/listen/stories/showaye-selassie-and-her-friend-susan-greenfield/ And you can find their other wonderful
NPR StoryCorps – Another Great Piece Read More »
The most frequent sign of poor communication habits I hear is something like, “My wife wants us to talk about…” Or, “I feel that my husband ignores me…” The first phrase is a comment about the partner, using an assumption, and a cross-over: us. The speaker misses opportunities here to invite his wife to share
Speak about yourself, Ask about your partner, Reap the benefits. Read More »
Fall has arrived, my favorite season: hearty stews, wool sweaters and cuddling weather. I’ve noticed recently that many couples struggle to enjoy the changing season because they’re stuck in their old patterns with their partners. They work to find ways to keep things fresh, to get past old conflicts or resolve new ones. They find
Fall’s Here: Leave the Stew in the bowl and the Love in the Air. Read More »
