I overheard part of a conversation recently waiting in line – a girl speaking on her cell phone: “I am me, now. It’s just when I text, or email, I can’t always be me. But now, it’s me! I’m here, with you.” I won’t belabor that with a full deconstruction, but it got me thinking […]
“I am me, now. It’s just when I text or email, I can’t always be me.” Read More »
Sometimes, we get a great idea, so sure our partner will go gaga for it, and come to find out, he’s so preoccupied with something else, it’s a non-starter. That first refusal comes out insulting or avoiding; we dig in, insist. He’s staunch in his determination to stick to plans and get things done. And
It Takes Two: Do Away with Posturing and Seek a Win-Win Read More »
Take a few moments to reflect. Below you can take a short, insightful quiz that will help you look at the way you react to and interact with your partner. It will give you some new options and some basic feedback on how you’re doing. We all have room to polish our relationship skills. So
Take a moment to self-assess: How are your relationship skills? Read More »
As I’ve written in the past, saying what you want gets you there much faster than saying what you don’t want. In the same vein, saying things clearly and positively make it much easier to be heard. And your partner’s more likely to respond in kind – with a clear, affirming response, even if it
Dropping the Don’ts, Doubling the Do’s. Read More »
If nothing else, simple quizzes can spark ways for you to gain new insights about your relationships. They can trigger you to consider going back to the topics of initial curiosity, in the early days of your relationship, in a way getting back to basics. Dr. John Gottman’s name comes up again and again, especially
You think you know your partner? Read More »
We can hold on to what’s most important by letting go of the little stuff. We can improve our relationships by learning to let go of the minor details. So often it boils down to the little pieces – how things get done, when things get done. We forget we can save energy and spare
Holding On by Letting Go Read More »
You can rely on two easy words to “Whow” your way to a better relationship. It just takes some effort to pick up on the way you currently ask questions, and then replace them with more effective questions. You can just shift to questions that elicit honest, open responses from your partner. Common mistakes in
“Whow” Your Way to a Better Relationship Read More »
The New York Times’ Well Blog is one of my regular reads because it gives accessible, digestible ways to live life well. This particular entry speaks to me as it briefly explains the benefits of preventive marital counseling, for the same reasons we get dental check-ups and annual physicals. A little investment now protects our
Preventive Counseling: like a teeth cleaning for your relationship Read More »
“Oh, I don’t care what we do for vacation. But, I don’t want to go too far… I don’twant to just sit on the beach for a week… I don’t feel like Chinese tonight…”“You always leave just the crumbs in the box… You never take out the garbagebefore I ask.”“I can’t find a way to
Who seeks therapy and What for? Read More »
