A nice, short piece from the NYT about what contributes to the successes and the complexities of couples counseling. And the challenges it poses to therapists attempting to do it well. Does Couples Therapy Work? “WE’VE all had that horrible experience: you throw a party or invite a couple over for dinner, and they start […]
Does Couples Therapy Work? Read More »
Dr. Heitler’s “EFFECTIVE APOLOGIES: A QUICK GUIDE TO THE KEY INGREDIENTS” Check it out and see her worksheet at this link.
Dr. Heitler’s “EFFECTIVE APOLOGIES: A QUICK GUIDE TO THE KEY INGREDIENTS” Read More »
“All too often, hurtful words slip inadvertently from our mouths. Sometimes we genuinely meant no harm. At other times it’s worth checking in with our quiet voices. Did we in fact mean to poke or jab? And if so, why? Freud wrote about jokes, saying that they really do tend to rest on subconscious truths.
Dr. Heitler’s “THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR SPO– USE?” Read More »
“Patients come to doctors with complex problems. Have peace with them. Identify with the patient and not with his disease.” Dr. Eugene Stead, Jr. Dr. Stead had a profound effect on my father. My father works to ensure that the compassion, thoughtfulness and expertise Dr. Stead bestowed on him is passed on to his sons.
One of my father’s mentors, Dr. Eugene Stead, Jr. Read More »
It’s always a pleasure to work with my therapy colleague Susan Heitler. Through our impromptu conversations between clients, we learn with each other and explore the complexity and nuance of our work. In her blog post today, Susan illustrates a thread of several of our conversations about the levels of treatment in a Conflict Resolution
Collaboration with Susan Heitler Read More »
The number one predictor for divorce is avoidance of conflict; couples are served much better by doing the difficult work, helping each other trudge through the tension and animosity of their unavoidable conflicts. This tough work becomes an accomplishment; couples become stronger in their collaboration to manage conflict, rather than growing apart as they avoid
You are my partner. You are not my adversary. Read More »
Many of our arguments and disagreements erupt at the precise but indistinguishable moment when defensive posturing takes hold. I’ve written about it in the past, but the importance of that moment can’t be underestimated. In that moment, we undermine our own interests for some low-value need to be right and defeat criticism. Being right doesn’t
Seeds of Truth Sprout Gardens of Growth Read More »
The most frequent sign of poor communication habits I hear is something like, “My wife wants us to talk about…” Or, “I feel that my husband ignores me…” The first phrase is a comment about the partner, using an assumption, and a cross-over: us. The speaker misses opportunities here to invite his wife to share
Speak about yourself, Ask about your partner, Reap the benefits. Read More »
Fall has arrived, my favorite season: hearty stews, wool sweaters and cuddling weather. I’ve noticed recently that many couples struggle to enjoy the changing season because they’re stuck in their old patterns with their partners. They work to find ways to keep things fresh, to get past old conflicts or resolve new ones. They find
Fall’s Here: Leave the Stew in the bowl and the Love in the Air. Read More »
Here’s an interesting piece I heard on NPR Monday morning. I’d love to get your insights – have these strategies worked for you? Experiencing Teen Drama Overload? And here\’s the book they reference: Getting To Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies For Parenting Tweens And Teens by Laura Kastner and Jennifer Wyatt
From NPR: Experiencing Teen Drama Overload? Read More »
